If there's been a deafening silence from me lately, the reason is I've been trying to believe and accept the idea of bringing another new addition into the family.
Yes I'm pregnant again, for better or worse!
It was always my aim to have two children, but that was planned years before I had any idea of the day-to-day reality. So I'm happy but at the same time pretty scared of juggling the needs of a toddler and a newborn.
I had a mild panic over the possibility of twins, which turned out at the 12 week scan to be unnecessary.
Ben will be two years and two months old when the little one arrives, hopefully old enough that I can make it "our project" where he can join in and feel useful. Luckily he's becoming increasingly independent, and his vocabulary is growing by the day.
I'll also have to give him plenty of attention so he doesn't feel left out. Ideally I might have waited a little bit longer and had a bigger gap between them, but I'm no spring chicken and time's ticking on!
No-one really knows what the ideal age gap is between children, but the average seems to be around two to three years, when there are no problems conceiving. All I know is that any younger than Ben is now - 20 months - would be extremely hard. He's still having daytime naps, but it's a definite risk that he might grow out of them just when the new one arrives.
I hope I'll look back fondly on these early years of sleepless nights, nappies, breastfeeding, pureeing food and endless laundry. The key, I think, is to share the responsibility as often as possible, which gives the opportunity to put things in perspective and feel less overwhelmed (and maybe have a nap myself!).
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